I've decided to go alone in everything---he says he won't fight me and really that is what I want. I just need to let go. I've been holding on for so long and hoping for a miracle---one that unfortunately, never came. Maybe there was never meant to be a miracle--that I don't know.

My grandma asked me once---do you really want him or do you miss the thought of him? Is it because you miss being a family or because you really feel like you need him? At least, I really wanted to be with him and you know, I will always love him. However, it has more come down to the thought that I miss being a family. Maybe if I had a more supportive group or family then this wouldn't be so hard or bad. Unfortunately, this is another part of my life that is lacking and missing in all those areas. So I'm stuck on both of them. I only ask for prayers to move on and hope that one day---and I really do hope soon because I miss being with someone. I don't want to rush into something, but it sure would be nice if there was someone out there that felt the same way I do. You remember that song with Fievel goes west??

Somewhere out there
Someone one is thinking of me
Somewhere out there
Somewhere
.........dreams
come true....................................................................................