Sometimes in our attempt to take a bigger look at the picture, we fail to see the true sides of things. We as humans are selfish beings, wanting gratification right away. If we do not see it, we give up and generally loose the greatest thing we can accomplish. In my errors, I always saw my side. What someone else did wrong, it was always them and not me. For me to fail, it went against all odds for me...I was taught not to fail for failure meant I majorly screwed up. I feared failure, and therefore hid from it when it smacked me right in the face.

I am not a perfect being by any stretch of the imagination. I try to strive for what is right and what I feel I am suppose to do...those as of lately, my dreams and hopes of the future seem bleak. I have a great fear here of California, my close friends know my fear. The fear of California submerged under the ocean. The other fear of my kids drowning, it creates a big displacement for me here that I wish I could wash away. I always believed this would happen in the year 2010 and when the earthquakes hit...oh the fear hit me hard. I thought I had screwed up, I had my chance to leave and get away from here....I did not, so something keeps me here. As time has went, this fear was placed with a rationalization and research regarding this.

So what does this have to do with my blog?  Fear is a motivator and a killer. You can use it for good or you can use it for bad. Fearing failure is no way to live, in fact if you never even try, then you can never fail. You will never learn and you will miss out on so many things. So when do you listen to the fear and take the road less traveled or better yet, give up? If I only knew this answer, sometimes it seems so easy to choose and then you think of the bigger picture and others involved, it does not seem so clear. Do we listen to our hearts instead or the voice of reason inside our head? I do not know, I only wish I did.

In my life, I wish I could do so many things over. Change the paths I took and most of them I should change were the paths less traveled.  So it appears, the greatest prize lies behind that rickety bush and boulder in the road to which is usually the journey we do not want to take. It is sometimes a dark and lonely path that seems to have no end, but just remember--every night has it day and every day has its night. For every bumpy road you take, bush you push aside, there is a light at the end of the tunnel with bright sunshine. Will the bumpy path ever end? Maybe for a little while between journey's but life is a lesson that should be constantly learned. Therefore, there will be plenty of journeys to embark upon and maybe, just maybe, at the end of it all you will find yourself lying in lush green pastures with the ones you love the most. You'll know then, both in your heart and mind, it was all worth it.