•7:53 PM
A couple of months ago, I saw a movie. It was called fireproof. When I watched the movie, I knew in my heart that my husband would never do for me what the other person did and now as I sit here, I'm wondering if I'm the one that needs to do the dare. However, how can you fight with someone that you cannot get a hold of? Someone who says they wish to work things through and yet--lies in the same sentence in which they say it?
Omar was suppose to spend Easter with us. He had agreed last Sunday to do it, even on Monday and then on Thursday changed his mind stating he was told he had to work. At first I really did believe him, until I asked him what time he had to work--and the tell tale signs of lying showed all over his face. A stutter here and there, and then a huge lie that obviously was not the truth came out. Lies only tear apart a relationship, and hurt the one you are telling. I knew it was a lie, and so I called to wish him a happy Easter only to find....the dial tone of his phone was ringing from Mexico. When I heard it, I knew the dial-tone from a previous relationship and my heart sank. I know the signs of cheating....but I never expected it from him. But I'm realizing that this relationship now has trust issues that need major mending.
I don't know why Omar felt he had to lie, if he was just going over to spend time with his family--then so be it. At least he was honest, moved on and it would not have hurt the way it did. It was the shear fact he lied and it hurt so deap that everyone tells me to finally leave him. I gave him a promise though, three months. I must keep that promise because I am a role model. I will strive to be the Godly woman that God wants me to be, but I cannot say for sure this is going to work out.
One of the things in church today was that just when you think it is finally over--God steps in and saves the day. My moment is coming though, and I am waiting for my God to come save the day. I just don't know when that day will come--and if anything it will be too late. My heart is breaking and knowing that he neglected his family in which has not done anything for, for almost two years in the expense of his mother. Actions speak louder than words. We are not a priority--and I'm not sure we will ever be.
On to a slightly scary subject, I don't know if you guys know about how supposedly California will eventually one day be apart of the ocean. Whether or not that happens, I really don't know. However, after an extremely hard earthquake that hit today of 6.9...I'm scared. I have always believed that this would happen in 2010 and now as the earthquakes get stronger, the more nervous I get. I'm not ready to die, God tells me my time is not here yet so I need to calm down and hope that my instinct is right. I just wish that I had someone alongside me for the journey. I do not want to spend my life alone and even though I have done that for two years, even those few days he was in my life I felt on top of the world. Like we were a family again. However, I cannot change the inevitible if it is to happen. All I can do is get down on my knees and pray to the one that I need the most, God.
Omar was suppose to spend Easter with us. He had agreed last Sunday to do it, even on Monday and then on Thursday changed his mind stating he was told he had to work. At first I really did believe him, until I asked him what time he had to work--and the tell tale signs of lying showed all over his face. A stutter here and there, and then a huge lie that obviously was not the truth came out. Lies only tear apart a relationship, and hurt the one you are telling. I knew it was a lie, and so I called to wish him a happy Easter only to find....the dial tone of his phone was ringing from Mexico. When I heard it, I knew the dial-tone from a previous relationship and my heart sank. I know the signs of cheating....but I never expected it from him. But I'm realizing that this relationship now has trust issues that need major mending.
I don't know why Omar felt he had to lie, if he was just going over to spend time with his family--then so be it. At least he was honest, moved on and it would not have hurt the way it did. It was the shear fact he lied and it hurt so deap that everyone tells me to finally leave him. I gave him a promise though, three months. I must keep that promise because I am a role model. I will strive to be the Godly woman that God wants me to be, but I cannot say for sure this is going to work out.
One of the things in church today was that just when you think it is finally over--God steps in and saves the day. My moment is coming though, and I am waiting for my God to come save the day. I just don't know when that day will come--and if anything it will be too late. My heart is breaking and knowing that he neglected his family in which has not done anything for, for almost two years in the expense of his mother. Actions speak louder than words. We are not a priority--and I'm not sure we will ever be.
On to a slightly scary subject, I don't know if you guys know about how supposedly California will eventually one day be apart of the ocean. Whether or not that happens, I really don't know. However, after an extremely hard earthquake that hit today of 6.9...I'm scared. I have always believed that this would happen in 2010 and now as the earthquakes get stronger, the more nervous I get. I'm not ready to die, God tells me my time is not here yet so I need to calm down and hope that my instinct is right. I just wish that I had someone alongside me for the journey. I do not want to spend my life alone and even though I have done that for two years, even those few days he was in my life I felt on top of the world. Like we were a family again. However, I cannot change the inevitible if it is to happen. All I can do is get down on my knees and pray to the one that I need the most, God.
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