Let me first explain this blog, when I first moved to California back in 2004 I had a very high success rate with weekly emails telling what was going on in my journey. Many people once told me that I could become a great writer and so, this is my first start of a new journey. In the following blogs I will do just as I did in my emails when I first moved here, I want the audience to feel as if they are here with me. To experience a new idea, place, thing and anything else surrounding it. I'm an open book for the most part. And thus, it begins:

Day 1.

Fear is setting in regarding my divorce. My ex, Omar, was finally served papers on January 19, 2010. It was quite an event that I had to use two of my friends to get him out of the house. Kandee and Jessica made calls and some weird other stuff and finally he came out. Kandee rushed to the door to give him the papers, she said he was smiling. Of course he did not know what was about to hit him, and then I saw her walking back. How do I know this...well I was sitting in the car.

Anyway, I fear doing this alone and one thing a friend of mine stated to me, I need to pray he does not contest the divorce. Our court date is set for February 23rd and if he does not contest it, I get an automatic judgment against him, and everything I asked for. Honestly, it was not much. Just child support and allow him to let me keep the little things I have now. Two more weeks and I will know for sure, I pray for peace about this Lord and in telling me so.

You guys, school is school, but I'm getting burnt. In my past I have always almost reached the goal and then...gave up. I've completed one semester, so what is stalling me now? Tiredness. Working full time, and school full time, with the girls--I am tired. But I cannot give up. It is when I get a praise by my teacher or a friend telling me how great I am doing I keep pushing forward. I broke this cycle when I graduated from SDRM....we shall see if I can keep it up. I believe as each course that I complete the further I wish to pursue it. Only time will tell my friends.

As for work, I am partially happy with work. I love my co-workers for once, which is so hard to find here in California. ASH is great, but I found out yesterday my supervisor is leaving for Sharp. Makes me want to go with him, and one horrible thing about this is...once I have mastered a job, I wish to move on because it begins to bore me. I need an ever changing job, something that keeps me moving and constantly using my brain. Maybe that is why I am for the most part, enjoying school for once. I sure went a lot farther then last time!

Ah, my munchkins...the two prize possessions in my life. My girls, they are doing great. I'm trying to juggle spending time with both of them to make sure they feel loved. It seems to be working with Lizzy, she is getting more attached to me. Except for the fact that she lied tonight. She actually colored on my car!! Took the crayon and started scribbling! WOW and then when I confronted her on it...no I didn't. Of course I saw the whole thing, so she did not get a movie tonight. Love her, but dang.

So, I await my findings for tomorrow. Only time will tell how things go over the next two weeks.